Publisher's Note
Commentary by Scot Giambalvo
Just When You Though You’d Seen It
All...
Alright, I admit that once in a while I get a kick out of a the
truly bizarre spam e-mail I receive. For instance, just tonight, at around
1:30am, I received the following:
SUBJECT: attention time travelers and aliens
If you are an alien disguised as human and or have the
technology to travel physically through time I need your help!
Also if you are from, I’m not sure this is the correct pronunciation: The
planet (Valnator) please reply.
My life has been severely tampered with and cursed by a very evil women of
my past. I have suffered tremendously!
I need to be able to:
Travel physically back in time. Rewind my life including my age. Be able
to remember what I know now so that I can prevent my life from being
tampered with again after I go back. I am in great danger and need this
immediately!
Only if you are an alien or have this technology please send me a separate
email to:
core0139@aol.com
Thanks
Robby
Okay, okay, so it’s some kind of weird scam for the company listed in the
return address: robby@bluesky.com. And any e-mail freak worth her/his IP
address would surf to the domain of the sender to see if it’s even there,
much less legit. (Which is often the ploy of the owner of the sender’s
domain in the first place, to get you to surf their site.)
But Bluesky.com is a
Software/Mac/Typography company with a not-so-easy to navigate site
structure, and no apparent “We Gotcha” stuff happening on the homepage. As
a matter of fact, judging from the eclectic nature of the website’s
industry, I strongly believe that Robby is searching for aliens, and
wholeheartedly believes he’s going to get a response.
Now the key question becomes, “Do I call
Bluesky.com in the
morning?” or “Do I start sending this guy e-mails from weird domains
offering construction plans for a time travel machine, (parts easily
obtainable from Radio Shack for less than $17.00 total—but don’t buy all
the parts from one Radio Shack store or they’ll red flag you as a temporal
risk and report you to the ultra-secret YFI Federal Agency, who will
immediately snatch you from your normal life and replace you with an exact
duplicate made out of organic matter surrounding a cybernetic entity...).
Sheesh, am I tired. How the mind races.
I’ll even betcha Robby has a daily regime of Mountain Dew (alternated with
Jolt Cola), followed by whole bowls of Cap’N Crunch, Pop-Tarts, and the
occasional five pound Hershey chocolate bar as a reward. Why, you ask?
Only the true speeders of the world could imagine sending an e-mail like
this would yield them a viable solution even remotely similar to the one
they seek. AND, only true speeders are genuinely likely to find what they
seek, by their method of fearless, determined, pathological pursuit of
whatever they consider their Nirvana. (Besides, it works for most of the
MODE staff, and hey, I’m not only a member, I’m the president!)
Take care, be well, let me know your thoughts, and enjoy this issue.
Scot Giambalvo
P.S. Why not take a few minutes of your time and fire off a quick e-mail
to Robby at the “core0139@aol.com” address. I’d especially appreciate it
from those of you who have a “.MIL” domain address. Hee, hee, hee.
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