Uncle Ted Calling
A Candid Conversation With Ted Nugent
by Benjy Eisen.
 Ted
Nugent, also known as The Motor City Madman, is impossible to define. He
is at once the epitome of the rock n’ roll spirit and yet a deputy
sheriff. He first burst into the national consciousness in 1977 when he
became the top grossing touring act in the country, and he stayed there
for the rest of the 70’s. Since then he has done everything. Literally.
Including a phone call to MODE Weekly last week that started off like
this: “Hello Benjy? Uncle Ted Calling. Think you can handle it? Have
you done your homework or are you one of these dumb, inept pieces of shit
journalists that I could just fuckin’ punch in the nose?” The uncensored
conversation follows:
MODE: I’m
going down your bio and it never stops. You have one credential after
another, one endeavor after another. Do you ever sleep?
Nugent:
Oh yeah, I slept like a baby last night baby, but I was already on
tednugent.com Back
Talk today, I sent a new article to 26 publications, I’ve got another 26
to go and I’m getting ready to do a rock and roll concert, and first I’m
going to walk the streets of Chicago with my family and eat bacon!
MODE:
How do you do it?
Nugent:
I’m 53 years clean and sober, so my body, mind, soul and spirit work at
optimum level, I’ve never put drugs or alcohol or tobacco or fast bullshit
fat food in my system. I live by the great spirit of the wild and the
great venison that the spirit of the wild provides me. I am a quality of
life, conscientious, thoughtful, demanding, status quo crushing mother
fucker and when you crush the status quo you know you are the true north
compass setting, so I have supreme confidence in my lifestyle and I am
surrounded by a energized dedicated family and staff of work ethic
monsters who help me…Everybody is so dedicated, we can move mountains.
MODE: I
believe it. The bio just keeps going.
Nugent:
It’s cute isn’t it? And I’m active in all those different activities. We
do charity work almost every day.
MODE: You
haven’t released a studio album since 1995, yet you continue to tour.
Nugent:
Yeah, I tour over 100 concerts every year. We did 160 last year which is
why we recorded Full Bluntal Nugity because the whole year was full
bluntal Nugity and there’s not a damn thing you can do about. Plus, it’s
the dream of every artist to return to their hometown on the ultimate
party night of New Year’s Eve, but when you’re Ted fuckin’ Nugent we
turned D-town into De-fuckin-‘triot Motor City Get Down, I mean how
inebriating is that? You know what I mean? So it’s a dream. It’s a
musical dream, it’s a career dream, it’s a sensual orgy dream and we
actually captured it on CD? Get the fuck out of here!
MODE: You
tour every year, even if you don’t have new product?
Nugent:
Well I do it every year regardless! I’m motivated today as purely and as
instinctually as I was when I picked up my first guitar in a concrete
garage and ricocheted fuckin’ sounds off the wall. I crave the music! I
crave the creative process! It doesn’t matter what the commercial
ramifications may or may not be, I will always make my music. And because
of that purity and spontaneity and honesty, it has a life of its own.
Does it not?
MODE:
What about the lack of new material?
Nugent:
Oh, there is no lack of new material. Are you ready Benjy? [Starts
screaming:] “You know my bread’s like the butter on her grits/she can’t
get enough of my jam/and when my baby’s looking for double trouble/she
knows damn well that I am.” I got songs coming out of my ass. I’ve got
dozens of awesome songs. But we captured an energy and a piss and a
vinegar firestorm last year. What you heard on Full Bluntal Nugity
had to come out, regardless of the presumption that old music is not
legitimate. Eat shit and die! That performance had to be unleashed. I
love the life and the vitality of those old songs, they stand the test of
time, they are timeless. They defy gravity and I’m proud of it.
MODE: Do
you improvise with the songs live?
Nugent:
You think? Did you listen to the fuckin’ CD? You ought to open your ears
motherfucker before you open your big mouth. It’s a stone cold
motherfucker! Can you say ‘the road less traveled?’
MODE: You
want me to?
Nugent:
Yeah.
MODE:
“The road less traveled.”
Nugent:
Or “Full Bluntal Nugity.” Same fuckin’ maneuver man. We inject
rocket fuel into the campfire of every one of these songs. It is a
roaring outrage. I fuckin’ love it. Last night we played for two and a
half hours in Milwaukee. The unsuspecting civilian public didn’t know
whether to shit or go blind! I ripped their heads off and shit down their
neck, it was un-fuckin’-earthly and it will be tonight too.
MODE: Is
it a greatest hits package?
Nugent:
Well it’s got a brand new song in it called “Clusterfuck,” it’s a brand
new intrumental. It’s got an acoustic version of “Fred Bear” from the
Spirit Of The Wild CD that is just a motherfucker, man.
MODE: Are
the Damn Yankees through?
Nugent:
No I got to believe that the music is so compelling. The stuff we’ve got
on standby right now, Benjy, is a mother fucker. I love collaborating
with Tommy and Michael and Jack. These guys are so talented, I got to
believe that it’s going to come back, you know?
 MODE:
Let’s say you meet an 18 year old who never heard of you. How do you
convince him to come to the show?
Nugent:
I don’t. It’s up to him. If he doesn’t know who Ted Nugent is, I feel
sorry for him.
MODE: Do
you have any expectations of the audience?
Nugent:
Well of course I have expectations! I have a guarantee! They’re going to
go fuckin’ crazy! I’ve done 5,400-and-some-odd shows in my life and guess
what every one of them had? You think I discovered a pattern here, Benjy?
We put our heart and soul into every greasy throbbing minute on stage.
And guess what? The superiocity is mine. People go berzerk. You pay
attention when we come to York, Pennsylvania, Benjy, people’s heads will
implode and they will go nuts. Green Day wishes, [Red Hot] Chili Peppers
wish, fuckin’ Buckcherry wishes. This Nugent band is the best rock and
roll monster in the history of sonic bombast and young people come to my
shows every night. Young teens, pre-teens - my fuckin’ drummer is 21 and
he says that he dreams that someday he’ll have the energy that I have at
53.
MODE: I
dream that.
Nugent:
It’s good for you.
MODE:
You’ve been around for a long time.
Nugent:
I have a song titled “I Won’t Go Away” which I think sums it up.
MODE:
Since you’ve started, the musical landscape has changed a lot.
Nugent:
I don’t think so. Whether it’s the Chili Peppers or Green Day or
Buckcherry, guess what’s alive and well? The primal scream. The edge of
rhythm. The campfire of the soul of man. Now guys in Green Day couldn’t
tell you that. Guys in Buckcherry couldn’t tell you that. I just did.
That’s what’s alive and well. Whether it’s the new Aerosmith or the old
Aerosmith, I don’t give a shit if it’s Britney Spears or Christina
Aguilera or these sappy ass fag bands, they still pursue the primal
scream, some better than others, but I love it all. It all boils down to
work ethic and a sense of creativity. So I think it’s all legitimate.
Just some more intense than others.
MODE: Are
you ever tempted to play around with some of these newer sounds that are
out there? Update your sound at all?
Nugent:
Well, I’m collaborating right now with Kid Rock. I don’t know how much
more front edge you could be than that. I’m trying to get a hold of Billy
Joe from Green Day. I’m writing with Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, Sheryl
Crow and James Hetfield - I think Metallica is cutting edge. So nothing
is sacred. The road less traveled is where I run baby.
MODE:
You’re outspoken on your political stances. Is there, or should there be,
a separation between a musician and his politics?
Nugent:
Of course not.
MODE: So
somebody can come into your audience and smoke a joint and drink beers
and…
Nugent:
Well, let me, c’mon – how old are you Benjy?
MODE: I’m
25.
Nugent:
Well, gee, a boy, no wonder you’re talking like this. You’re not
hypothesizing? That’s what’s going on! I mean, I gotta tell you - you
know who is in my audience? Working hard, playing hard, great
conscientious people. And criminals. And substance abusers. And
smokers. And child molesters. Guess what it’s called Benjy? Mankind.
Guess who’s welcome to celebrate my music? Mankind. I cannot clear the
streets of Chicago of the unwanted mankind. I’m a gregarious, real life,
honest, exploratory son-of-a-bitch and I will go anywhere I damn choose.
Who shows up at my concert, who shows up at the restaurant, who shows up
at the airport, is totally out of my control. Come one, come all to the
midnight ball, the invitation is there. But if you want to legalize
drugs, fuck you. If you want to take away my guns, double fuck you.
MODE: So
is rock and roll still about rebellion then? You’re a deputy sheriff.
You’re a police officer’s wet dream - I mean if rock stars were all Ted
Nugent then Frank Zappa would’ve never had to write Joe’s Garage.
Nugent:
Ha ha! I’m not so sure of that! I was a good friend of Franks. I
conducted Frank Zappa’s last interview before his death. He was on my
radio show. But no, I don’t think there’s any dichotomy there, or any
confusion. I think if you cling to status quo presumptuousness, and the
status quo stereotyping, well, certainly I will blow your fuckin’ brains
out. You won’t know what to make of my ass. But if you wake up and you
realize that life is an adventure, and that nothing is sacred, and an
individual can do as he damn pleases within the constraints of not
treading and not intruding on other people’s freedoms, and rights and
quality of life, then I make perfect sense.
MODE:
When you play music, would you say it comes from somewhere within you, or
is music more of a universal thing that you’re lucky enough to be able to
harness, tapping into some greater inspiration?
Nugent:
All of the above. I mean, I am a spontaneous human reactor. And
creator. I create notes that are not meant to be. I described my guitar
playing the other night as “forbidden.” I play notes that are forbidden.
I say things on stage that are forbidden. I represent an intensity that
is often forbidden. I represent an uninhibitedness that is often
forbidden. I represent a political incorrectness that is forbidden and I
celebrate when I go there and I just fuckin’ stomp the expectations and
the stereotypes and the status quo into a puddle of shit. I really
celebrate independence and self-sufficiency - obviously in it’s ultimate
form as a hunter, being the honest procurer of protein for my family
instead of hiring somebody to net a bunch of fuckin’ tuna - so my musical
creativity comes from this incredible gift I have of going berserk. The
uninhibitedness of my persona and my dreams, it manifests itself in an
inebriating intensity every night, so my note patterns are as pure as
life, death, sex and a good shit and all of the above.
MODE: Is
it family entertainment?
Nugent:
Well yeah because the words “fuck you” have never hurt anybody. Show me
the dead kids from the word “fuck.” Show me the scars from “fuck.”
MODE: Or
the kids that are going to be hurt by watching a guy in a loincloth?
Nugent:
Yeah, kiss my fuckin’ ass. Meanwhile the parents that criticize me, they
smoke and they drink and they take drugs and they let their kids eat fast
food. Eat shit and die you fucking hypocritical assholes. Fuckin’
assholes.
MODE:
Tipper Gore criticized you in her book How To Raise PG Kids In An X-Rated
Society as talking openly about sexual practices she felt shouldn’t be
talked about.
Nugent:
Fuck her.
MODE:
What’s your take on the “explicit lyrics” label?
Nugent:
Well, give me a break. You know what I do? I celebrate
conscientiousness. But on a live rock n’ roll stage, if you can’t go
crazy there, where can you go crazy? Here’s it in a nutshell Benjy: You
know who I spent an hour with last night? Another quadriplegic boy in a
wheelchair, with his mother and father and sister. And I had the mother
and father cry their eyes out because they said it was the first time
Butch had laughed in 18 years. Now, do you think a child who is dying
would be allowed to come spend time with Ted Nugent backstage if I was a
bad influence? And do you know how many times I do that a year? Probably
thirty of forty. You know how many requests I get to do that? Hundreds.
Do you think a family, over and over and over again, families would bring
their dying children to my Ted Nugent Family Hunting Kamp if I was somehow
a bad person or a bad influence? I mean, my reputation and my worthiness
is put through the ultimate and the most demanding screening process
available to mankind. Young children, mothers and fathers, and clergy and
medical professionals coming to my door and spending time with me, rock n’
roll, hunting, fishing, family, barbequing. I defy you to discover or
identify a more demanding screening process to one’s reputation than
that. I represent Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
MODE:
Mothers?
Nugent:
Well it’s like mankind, it’s not personkind, fuck you. Mothers Against
Drunk Driving - I happen to be a father, the mother of my children is my
wife, we’re a team. Most of the people that support Mothers Against Drunk
Driving are men.
MODE:
Your book, God Guns and Rock N’ Roll. Who should read it?
Nugent:
You got to get it. I write for 48 publications now, Benjy. And I produce
this award-winning TV show called “Ted Nugent Spirit Of The Wild.” So I’m
very active in bringing visibility to these self-evident truths that have
been labeled politically incorrect. I’m very, very proud of that. And
the book celebrates that I’ve been 52 years clean and sober because I’ve
been surrounded by god and guns and rock n’ roll. God the creator, guns
is the disciplinarian, and rock n’ roll is the great unleashing. You know
I’ve been asked that question a million times and I never answered it like
that, but boy, that’s the perfect answer. ‘Cause that’s it in a nutshell
man.
MODE:
Knowing that you could potentially have a field day with this question,
are there any current events of particular interest right now?
Nugent:
Well all. All social issues because I’m a citizen of this great nation.
And I think the whole world sucks but America still sucks less. Even
after Al Gore and Sarah Brady and Mister Janet Reno and Bill whore slutdog
Clinton just about destroyed the god damned soul of the country. I’m very
active in politics. I’ve communicated to every damn senator and
congressman and governor in the country. I have authored and passed
legislation into law. I’ve worked very closely with educational and law
enforcement, and conservation organizations. I was named Conservationist
of the Year in Michigan and by the Arbor Day Foundation. I’m on the front
lines of environmental awareness. My camp for kids has been winning
awards for years about teaching children about the qualities and the
healing powers of nature. I think John Ashcroft is the greatest attorney
general in the history of the country, because he stepped forward and he
said yes, god-given right to life is an individual right and the right to
defend that life is an individual right. If you don’t get that, fuck
you. So I understand what the NRA is about. It’s a mother and father
grassroots organization. The NRA is a family organization. It’s about
our right to defend ourselves. Who in god’s good green earth on an
intellectual or a spiritual level could say that you and I don’t have the
right to defend ourselves? I know what I stand for. Come to
tednugent.com, Benjy. Come on and start on Talk Back. And bring these
issues up. And people love the way you bring this stuff up.
Well, listen Benjy, my family just waved.
I’m going to go get a pancake. Tell everyone in Pennsylvania to come to
tednugent.com and tell ‘em how much I appreciate all their years of
support and I thank them from my heart and soul and tell them that I
salute all my blood brothers of the great Pennsylvania Hunting Tradition.
MODE:
I will and thanks.
Nugent:
God bless. Live it up!
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