My own thought is that the future of human relations is in trouble. The playful rumors and cootie virus that circulated the hallways of American schools have been replaced with rapid gunfire and flying shrapnel. Religious and ethnic differences in the Balkans are on the verge of setting off a third world war, and the internet connects an underground society of rejected souls, thirsty for revenge.

While it is true that these trends are pushing the state of the world downhill, the situation can be turned around. I believe the first step toward improvement involves changing the way we relate to one another. We must keep an open mind, try to understand others’ points of view. We can try to learn from and teach people we meet.

Intolerance is the major factor contributing to human suffering, and oppression and has promoted violence throughout history. Differences in color, gender, and religion have sparked conflict among humans as far back as history can record. Exclusion is chiefly to blame for the recent epidemic of violence in American schools, according to educator Suzanne Cassidy.

If we are to improve the world that has been handed down to us, it is imperative that we change the way we view those who are different from us. Our way or one way is not always the right or only way. If it is a widely held opinion that a world in which everyone was the same would be boring, then why do we so easily oppress those who are different? Variety is what makes life interesting. If we can learn to appreciate variety instead of stressing conformity, I think that the world would be a more positive place for everybody.

All people, from royalty to the impoverished, have life experiences that have molded their philosophy, values, and beliefs. A CEO of a Fortune 500 company probably doesn’t know what it’s like to be a middle-aged woman trying to raise five children by herself, and vice versa. We need to realize that everyone has a different set of priorities, and we must not see anyone’s priorities as insignificant or secondary in importance to our own.

The fact of the matter is that as different as all of our priorities are, we all share a common desire to survive, to succeed, and to provide for our families. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “We may have all come on different ships, but we’re all in the same boat now.” If we can recognize this on a global scale and start to view others as equals, we will find it much easier to get along. We may also realize that we are not all that different from one another after all.

The most important and most valuable part of this process is to both teach and learn from all the people we meet. Once we make ourselves open to those who are different and respect their values and beliefs, we should try to make the most of our individual gifts and talents to improve and enrich each other as people. All people, from the leaders of nations to the common thief, are unique individuals with specific talents. We all do something well.

Instead of viewing others as opponents and competitors, we should view others as able to teach us what they know. For example, like managing a checkbook or changing a tire. If we all concentrate on improving ourselves and others, our efforts will eventually return to us tenfold.

I believe that we can do ourselves a service by seeing the good in people of all colors, creeds, and philosophies. All human beings are capable of both extreme good and extreme evil. It is up to each of us to make the world a better place. The process starts with simply getting along. Ignorance, close mindedness, and egocentricism ultimately represent locks on the gates of utopia.

Racism, bigotry, and school violence now reach from big cities to small-town America. Students, teachers, parents and all those concerned about education are getting a “wake-up” call by recent events in our nation’s schools. We must take this opportunity now to become more assertive and respectfully address the issues that concern us.

There is a cause, it can be addressed, and there are solutions. More and more teens are unable to control their anger. Conflicts not properly resolved eat away inside us like a cancer and then too often are taken out on others — physically, verbally, or on ourselves.

The media’s glamorization of violence is increasing, and ever-smaller irritations draw a violent response. Adolescents equate aggression with manhood and think anger is power. VIOLENCE IS BECOMING THE BEHAVIOR OF CHOICE FOR STUDENTS.

We must teach students to take control of their emotions, to reject the use of aggression, and to resolve conflicts peacefully. We must demythologize anger and take the glamour out of it. Power comes from mastering our anger, not surrendering to it. If you lose your temper, you give away your power, lose personal control, and cancel options for resolution. WE MUST TEACH OUR TEENAGERS TO USE THEIR MINDS, NOT THEIR FISTS.

And the solution lies within each one of us. It is too easy to “shoot from the lip” or “keyboard fingertip” and criticize or make judgments based on limited information. Doing this unfortunately gives temporary relief, deceiving one into thinking they’ve done something constructive.

My effectiveness as a teacher, husband, and parent increased when my focus turned to what I could do to change me. As I changed, the world around me changed. As people take control of themselves, becoming responsible FOR themselves and change the way they react TO others, their world and the world will change.

In my 31 years of teaching over 6000 HTTs (Hormonally Turbulent Teens), I’ve learned they are to be pitied more than feared. Do you remember what it was like? Today more than ever, teenagers are willing to listen to authentic adults who truly care about them. Instead of using our position to overpower them, we must empower them to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES. Teenagers are not finished products — they will make mistakes and we must allow them to “fail their way to success.”

There are effective programs available for use in schools or at home which teach students to:
• exercise self-discipline
• identify consequences before taking actions
• recognize their impact on others
• respect others’ rights and points of view
• set goals and persevere until achieved
• get what they want in ways that maintain dignity and respect for themselves and others.

This is the time to ACT, and act we must. Love and respect must be used as action verbs, not nouns. We must ask ourselves: 1) what can we DO to change the way we react to others and, 2) how can we invite others to respond more positively to us.