New Year 97 Resolution
by Mitchell L. Hillman, Jr.
“A journey of a thousand miles
must begin with a single step.”
—Lao-Tzu
You are probably reading this article a few days or a few weeks after
making your traditional New Year’s Resolution, if you made one. I hope all is going
well with your promise for change in 1997, but if your resolution is not going as well as
you had planned, I hope to offer encouragement.
Most resolutions revolve around self-improvement of some sort. Whether
it’s exercising more, drinking less, quitting smoking, writing more, losing weight or
being nicer, a resolution is a commitment to change for the better, for the benefit of you
and perhaps those around you.
What matters most, though, is you—to pursue a goal or to break a
habit you must be doing it for your own reasons, for yourself. You must be willing to
embrace change before you can commit to it. In pursuing your resolution for your own
reasons and no one else’s, you remove the sense of competition which can often
overshadow the real reason you’re trying to improve something. There is no need to
get hung up; there’s no one you are competing with. This is for you and no one else;
you can proceed at your own pace and set your own terms.
After dedicating yourself to this endeavor, the rest is easy, so long as
you think positively about it and receive some degree of encouragement from your family
and friends. Chances are, if the people around you notice a change for the better in your
attitude or your behavior, they’ll give you all the encouragement you need.
It’s difficult to understand why resolutions are so popular at this
time of year. The weather over much of the northern hemisphere certainly does not
encourage growth or change or a new routine. Unless, of course, your resolution was to ski
more. So, you’ve got to look beyond the weather, beyond the holiday tradition and
find a resolution that could be made any day and then make it a resolution every day.
Adopting new patterns or reprogramming your life is a long process that,
no matter how hard you try to find it, has no shortcut. This is why a resolution toward
self-improvement is truly a commitment. It is a commitment to the time, energy and effort
that it takes to redesign one’s lifestyle.
Samuel Johnson once said "The chains of habit are too weak to be
felt until they are too strong to be broken." Bad habits or monotonous routines often
provide comfort, and this makes it all the more difficult to exhume yourself from the rut
you’re in. The trick is to slowly replace old, bad habits with new, healthier ones.
Let these new habits slowly creep into your routine, your daily plan, or your weekly plan,
just as the bad habits you may be trying to relinquish once crept into your life.
People often bite off more than they can chew when they declare their
New Year’s Resolutions. Their goals are unrealistic or they set standards way above
and beyond their abilities. All men and women possess the capacity for adaptation, change,
and growth, but these things must happen naturally, gradually. "Do what you can with
what you have, where you are," Theodore Roosevelt said. The more patience and
understanding you have with yourself, the more you will benefit in the end. Life is a
progression and each part of it is a progression. Be realistic in your goals and your
goals will be realized more readily.
If you do fall off the wagon, accept this as a normal event in human
error, hop right back on and continue your chosen path of self-improvement. Don’t let
failure hold you down, learn from it and continue on. Like Albert Camus’ "Myth
of Sisyphus," you are continually pushing a boulder to the top of the hill, only to
have it roll over you when you get near the top. However, the point is in the pushing, not
in reaching the top.
There are a lot of methods that you can employ to help in your pursuit
of a better you. Much of it comes down to positive thinking and constant reassurance that
you "can do it." There are many other things you can do and many ways in which
your surroundings can help. Keeping a journal of your progress, your regress or your
stasis is especially helpful, if for no other reason than you may eventually notice
patterns or cycles that you never noticed before. Write down everything you eat, or how
much you exercise, or how many cigarettes you are down to or whatever it may be. Once you
identify a cycle of behavior, you get one step closer to mastering it, and if so desired,
changing it.
You could also write resolution reminders on your wall or desk calendar.
Just a note on the first and fifteenth of every month that says "Have you exercised
this week?" or "How’s the diet?" or "Are you being nicer?"
may help you to keep on track or may at least hit you with a pang of guilt. Ask your
family and friends to support you in this undertaking; have them remind you occasionally
when you start slipping. If you ask them to do this, don’t be upset or hurt when they
do remind you; don’t be defensive or make excuses; just listen and realize they want
to help you help yourself. If you request their help, don’t be angry when you receive
it.
You may want to change some elements of your surroundings, if you are
serious about a quest toward self-improvement. My biggest suggestion is this: respond
actively to positive people and pursue a positive-minded environment. On the other hand,
you can help change your surroundings by adopting a more positive attitude in your
daily life. Elbert Hubbard said, "Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning
and the rest of the day will take care of itself." Mood improvement can do a world of
good toward sticking to your New Year’s Resolution.
Above all else, stick to your resolution long enough to gain some
perspective on the benefits of it. The longer you maintain your course, the easier it will
become. Soon it will fit into your routine and become a regular part of your schedule or
habits. Eventually you will be rewarded with the satisfaction that you are a better you,
because you wanted to be and you pursued that goal.
I am reminded of the closing of a conversation I had with a homeless man
whose name I never caught. Over coffee, we had talked and laughed and smiled. Eventually
he mentioned that he must be going, but before he went he wanted to leave me with one
final thought. He said "I am content, in fact overjoyed, that I can say that all I
have worked for, all I have done, and all that I know is kept under this hat." He
indicated the hat laying on the table. Momentarily confused I looked under it as he
removed the cap from the tabletop and placed it upon his head. I looked at him as he
patted the hat on top of his head and realized what he meant. He gave me a smile and a
wink and walked out the door.
I smiled for weeks after that and I’m smiling now, because
that’s what it’s all about. Whatever your resolution may be this year, I wish
you the best of luck and hope you are on your way to being content or even overjoyed at
what’s beneath your hat. |
